It's Kind of a Funny World

Dear Reader,

            This is the happiest book about suicide and depression you will ever read. For some teens issues like untrustworthy friends and bad hair would be a nice break from the harsh reality that boils beneath their rough exterior. For some teens getting up in the morning or the option of not getting up in the morning is a daily issue. Some teens feel alone, unwanted, unneeded, and truly lost. Why bother living in a world that you can’t handle? Why bother living?

            The theme I chose to base this blog around is living, more specifically choosing to live. Choosing to help yourself, grow, challenge, hurt and learn from what you’ve been through. I chose this theme because Craig the main character of my book made one of the bravest decisions a depressed/suicidal teen can make he chose to get help, he chose life. I found his story inspiring, and I hope that his new found acceptance for life can help and inspire others.     

            The theme of choosing life will be demonstrated in this blog through various ways. The first of which is an example of Craig, the main character talking to himself. Something he did throughout his struggle to find his will to live and long battle with depression. Some days the voices in Craig’s head won, on others he won, but in the end he chose life. The second way I’ll demonstrate the theme is through the “Day in the Life…” of someone who chooses to live as opposed to someone who doesn’t. Thirdly I will show this theme in ten ways to know if you should choose to live. And lastly I will demonstrate the theme through personal pictures of things in my life that make me want to live.

Sincerely,

Stephanie McCann

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.
Lillian Dickson

It’s so tempting. The thought of never having to feel pain again left to float around in an endless pool of nothingness. That’s if we do all end up floating around after we go I guess that would be Forrest Gump theory. I can just leave and float around all accidental like on a breeze.  But what if we don’t? What if I am damned to spend eternity in hell, I would after all have committed sin.

What would my family think? What about Nia and Aaron? Aaron and I would never open our own law firm. What would he do then? What would I do? Oh…right I’d do nothing. I’d be floating or in hell. Aaron would continue to attend Executive Pre Professional and I would float. He would be successful…and I would be nothing. A page for a scrapbook, a sentence in his life’s memoir…I’d be reduced to a memory. A simple memory like Craig Gilner never even lived. Not at least the way I see living…living is well…doing.

If I was floating I would be able to do anything…I’d be nothing. I would finish school, get with a girl, get a job, get a house, make it big…I would have any of that. I wouldn’t just be a page in a memoir…hell I could write my own!

I don’t want to be nothing…I want to be “Oh that’s Craig Gilner, he’s successful,” not “Oh that’s Craig…he’s…well we don’t talk about him.” I want to be someone. I don’t want to be reduced to a memory. I want…I want to live.

I want to go to school, make it big, and maybe even write a book about it. That’s right! Craig, the boy who lived.

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.

~Friedrich Nietzsche

The day in the life of someone who choose life …

You wake up the smell of breakfast hits your nostrils like a brick to the face. Your hunger and worries for the day are washed down with your second glass of juice. It’s bright outside; a gentle breeze shifts the leaves conducting a symphony of soft rustling noises.

You have a full day ahead of you. Crammed with seemingly mundane activities…but that’s alright. You have your whole life ahead of you. Take comfort in the light at the end of the tunnel.

At the end of the day you look back at your days work. It was hard. No one said life was easy but it’s alright. Because you made it, you survived another day unscaved and ready to take on what life hands you next. 

The day in the life of someone who doesn’t choose life…

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.  The world owes you nothing.  It was here first. 

~Mark Twain

Ten reasons you should choose life:

1. You have friends
2. You have a family
3. You’re educated
4. You’re loved
5. It could be worse
6. You have an endless world of possibilities
7. You’ve made it this far
8. Things are going to change
9. Millions of people before have done it
10. You’re alive

The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss. 

~Thomas Carlyle

 My amazing friends are just one of the things that keep me going. Martha and I have been friends since the ends of sixth grade and have become almost inseparable. Our friendship has helped me through many difficult times. 

 

 Another thing in my life that makes it worth living is my music. I've been playing the cello for seven years and have really grown to love it. It's something I'll always have in my life. Not everyone can say they're fluent in an instrument. 

 Horses make up a large percentage of why I want to wake up everyday. Horses will never judge you and they're incredibly trusting. I think we could all learn a lesson from them. Riding is my all time high and you truly fall in love with every horse. I've been riding Deluxe Edition (pictured above) since I was in sixth grade and he is one of the many that has fueled my love for the sport.

My brother Jimmy is my  main support system and he makes me want to choose life every day. We're best friends as well as siblings and I truthfully don't know what I'd do without him and I know he feels the same.

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. 

~Henry Van Dyke

            I choose these particular genres to go along with my theme because I thought I could be creative and enjoy making them at the same time. For the talking to self I started off with Craig in a darker mind set and tried to convey his inner struggle before he finally realized that he did in fact have reasons to live. In my “a day in the life” section I tried to dramatize the difference between someone who choose to live and someone who well…didn’t. I chose to do ten reasons to know if you should choose life because everyone truly has something in their life worth living for. Some people just don’t realize it. Lastly I chose to show pictures of things from my personal life that encourages me to keep going at the end of the day. I didn’t have much difficulty other than writers block and a lack of motivation to actually do the project. I liked the freedom of the project but for whatever reason I just couldn’t find the motivation to do it. I think it’s interesting how it’s a blog project. It is very 21^st century. I learned that you can convey the theme of a story through many different ways.

Works Cited

http://www.quotegarden.com/life.html

All pictures belong to me. Song pictured is Three Cheers for Five Years all music belongs to Mayday Parade. 

Response #20

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Behind the Inhaler Pt. 21

It's hard to narrow down my greatest achievement seeing as I've achieved a lot of things (I don't mean this in a conceded way). I've done many things I'd consider a great achievement. I went to nationals in swimming when I was six, I've been champion at a few horse shows, I've been 4th overall for for an entire show series, I made it all the way to regionals in discus as a freshman, I've maintained a 3.7 or above GPA my entire academic career, and I had a very successful first season of Speech and Debate.

I'll write about which achievement came to me first which was winning my flat class at Ohio University in eight grade. This was an Interscholastic Equestrian Association show meaning we're riding for scholarships. The catch or "gimmick" of IEA is that we don't ride horses we know. We all draw a horses name out of a hat and that's who we ride. We draw a different horse for jumping and flat. In case you didn't know riding a new horse itself is very challenging, let alone showing. Sometimes all we get on the "horse list" is "Bob 15.3hh bay gelding. Simple changes, hold to base, quick off feet." To a non horse person that's confusing, to a horse person it's your worst nightmare.

At this particular show I knew no matter who I drew I was in for a hard ride. I had four of the top riders from my class in my split not to mention O.U. is known for having the worst horses. If you're lucky you'll draw Zen, Prince, or Sprack. I drew a horse named Sampson. No one knew who Sampson was. My ride on him was to be his first appearance in the show, he didn't even school (warm up, see the arena/people work out kinks) with the other horses.When he did finally come up to the arena I was less than thrilled with what I was presented with.

Sampson was a huge giraffe like horse who was obviously very green (young/immature/untrained). The  Stuart offered me a re-ride before my ride even began (he was rearing in the holding pin) on the luckiest draw at O.U. Zen. me wanting the sheer fun of a tough ride declined my re-ride (everyone thought I was crazy).

I honestly had an absolute blast while showing this horse. I shared the arena with nine other girls and I felt like the only one in there. Turns out crazy Sampson only needed a firm hard, a soft leg, and some encouraging words. I'm almost positive I ended up singing to him (it helps). I had him framed up, tracking and I was just having a great time because it was really more of riding than showing I didn't care about how I looked at that point. So you could imagine how shocked I was when my number was announced last as the first place rider come to find out the judge was thoroughly impressed by the way I handled him.

It felt great to not only win in a sport dominated by sticks and pocketbooks but It was just a great confidence builder.

I'm hoping this doesn't turn out to be my greatest achievement in life. Hopefully getting into a good college, being successful, etc. is in my future but for now it's the little giraffe that could.

Some of the "big" ones I earned along the way. The don't look like much but each is associated with a different memory and learning experience. Plus getting Eq champ in anything is an awesome accomplishment.

This is Color (horrible name) I call him Moo. He's a GIANT horse if you couldn't tell just by the picture.His face is longer than my entire body. Pretty sweet new ride.

Story Time

I remember the first time I saw the Masked People vividly. I was about fourteen years old at the time. School had just ended for the day and I was on my way home when I noticed the bare streets. Not a person in site, the usually bustling reef rest in an unsettling silence.

"Travis! Don't doddle, get in here immediately!" It was my sister, Rean. I could tell by the sheer tone of her voice that something was indeed wrong.

Rean had been my primary care giver since the Masked People took my parents thirteen years prior. She was much older than I and showed no interest in staring a family of her own like most her age. I think I had exhausted any desire she had towards starting a family.

“What’s going on?” I asked in a joking manor knowing Rean had a tendency to blow miniscule things into much grander issues.

“It’s the Masked People! One of those unidentified Eclipse things landed!” I couldn’t hide my excitement. The Masked People! I only knew of them from stories, school, and those who claimed to have seen them last time they landed one of their crafts.

“Travis why in the name of Poseidon are you excited?” I watched curiously as my sister locked every entrance to our small dimly lit house.

I was uncommon in the fact that instead of fearing the masked people I was genuinely curious about them. They did after all take my parents away in one of their eclipse shaped sky riders.

“Where do you think they come from? Another world?”

“Honestly, Travis? Where is your head? Go to your room! Not another word about the Masked People until they return to wherever they came from!”

Not wanting to distress my sister further I obeyed. My room was small containing a bed, a desk, and a small collection of crusted over ornaments that I’ve found on the ground. Most were oddly shaped and were nearly indestructible something the builders I showed them to didn’t fully understand.

I became increasingly more restless. Why did the Masked People wear masks? Were our worlds so different? “I have to find out,” I said to no one in particular. With as much stealth as my fourteen year old self could muster I crept from my room and out into the square. It didn’t take long for me to figure out where the Masked People were. A large crowd had formed of curious bystanders. I couldn’t help but shiver at the eerie silence that surrounded the dense crowd.

“What do you want with us?!” A large man with heavy features bellowed, startling the unsettled crowd. Not having caught a glimpse of the Masked People yet I continued to grow more and more impatient. Finally after a bit of struggling I managed to break my way through the heavy crowd. What I saw shocked me.

Instead of slimy, disfigured, mutant like creatures the Masked People looked just like we did. The only real differences I could find was their language, which seemed slow, and their masks which were fill with…well, nothing.

“What are you doing here boy? Those things could be dangerous!” I man pulled me back by my shoulder, his vise like grip surly bruising my shoulder.

“But Sir, they look just like us! How do you know they aren’t Sea People too?”

“Are you blind boy? Look! It doesn’t take a scholar to know those things are very different than us! Just look at them, face masks full of nothing, they’re nothing like us!”

Large gasps of excitement and fear spread throughout the crowd as their sky rider released another man. He joined his other fellow Masked People a tentative smile playing across his face.

“Hello!” The man said clearly in our language. “We understand your fear, but we have not come here to cause harm, we simply come to you with a message.” How did his voice carry through that mask? He seemed sincere, almost excited.

“How can we trust you?” A brave soul yelled out, “You took two of our own last time you landed!” The masked man simply laughed.

“We did not take them, they came willingly!” My heart slipped a beat, they left us willingly?

“How can we be sure?” The bystander questioned.

“Dr. Avis and his wife are quite alright. They came with us so we could relay this message when the time was right.” The man held up an imaginary scroll of sorts, his eyes twinkling with excitement. “The Doctor and his wife would like you to consider joining our world. You see we’re really very similar. Long ago we all lived as one community but after a great war we fled to different regions.” He took a quick breath, his eyes scanning the crowd for some sort of encouragement. “It’s time you return to our world. History after all repeats itself. You’ll all be much safer in our world.”

I could tell immediately that  the crowd had no intention no taking the man’s offer. It wasn’t as though any of us knew if what he was saying was the truth. All risks aside I felt my legs step out from under me, the man smiled towards me his arm gesturing for me to come nearer. He turned to the others speaking in their native tongue.

“I’m Travis, Dr. Avis is my father.” The masked man clasped his hands excitedly directing me towards the sky rider. “Where are we going exactly?”

“My boy we’re going to the surface!”

And with the courage of a sea lion I allowed the sky rider to carry me off to a new world. A world I could have never imagined. A world that would eventually become what I knew as home.

Response #19

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Response #18

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Behind the Inhaler Pt. 20

Lights! Camera! Action! Oh, how I love movies. I really enjoy watching movies and their are some movies that I could watch over and over and not get bored. These movies include:

• Forrest Gump
• Big Fish
• Secondhand Lions
• What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
• Across the Universe (probably the only musical I like)
• Monsters Inc. 
•  Lilo and Stitch

I love these movies for individual reasons. A lot of them because they're "quotable," "relateable," and/or entertaining.

I love Forrest Gump because no matter what happens to him he never forgets who and what he loves the most. He's loyal, driven. hilarious, and they type of person everyone should aspire to be. Just the story of Forrest Gump itself I find amazing. It was written with incredible detail, not to mention Tom Hanks was in it, and I just love the universal theme of the movie. I cry almost every time and I'm not ashamed to admit that. Watch the trailer for Forrest Gump here X I highly recommend this movie to everyone.

Sometimes, I guess there just aren't enough rocks. ~Forrest Gump

One of my other favorites would be a small highly underrated movie called Big Fish. Big Fish is one of those movies that I don't think I could ever get bored with. It was directed by Time Burton, and yes I know what you're thinking...Big Fish does reflect his "style" in some ways but really it has a more serious theme. It's a colorful, entertaining, and beautiful story which chronicles the bizarre life of Edward Bloom. You will cry, laugh, and "huh?" your way through this movie. Everyone whom I have told to watch this movie loved it. Sadly not many people know about Big Fish even though it was nominated for countless awards. The movie isn't all it seems, watch the trailer here X

A man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him, and in that way he becomes immortal.~Big Fish


I guess I love these movies and the ones I've previously listed so much because I find a little bit of me inside them. Most of the movies I like the most are a little quirky, but the quirkiness only masks a very deep emotional plot.

The last movie I watched was Ballet Shoes. I've been watching a lot of British cinema lately and really enjoy it. It too has it's quirkiness but is also very good. You can find it on youtube if you're really interested. Starring Emma Watson, Richard Griffiths,  Emilia Fox, and a bunch of other 'A' list British actors and actresses.

This is a video of Ringo drinking Gatorade from a bottle...I thought it was cute and entertaining...enjoy!